Thursday, January 27, 2011

Fuck Mother Nature!

   Ok so seriously, Could Mother Nature be a bigger Bitch?!?! I mean for weeks on end, we have been awaiting this horrible snow! Plow trucks lined up on the side of the Highways, on small roads, driving back and forth, just waiting to start sanding it down, to start plowing, to start salting the damn roads!

   Well the 25th we were advised to steer clear of the roads between 1 am to 5am on the morning of the 26th that there would be extreme weather conditions, Icy roads, and to allow time for commute to work.

   Well on the morning of, there was a pathetic excuse for snow. ARE YOU SERIOUS??? SCHOOL WAS CANCELED FOR THIS SHIT?!?!? well I made the best of it picked up my cousins and headed for the gym as we are driving it starts hailing WTF its like 2 in the god damn afternoon not 2AM! As we are walking into the gym huge chuncks of ice are hitting us and trying not to bust our ass we slowly tip toe our way across the parking lot into the gym.

  30 minutes later everything had stopped! Just some rain. Within minutes I see the parking lot ( as we are doing the stairmaster) covered in snow! WTF!! We  brush it off since we had a zumba class at 4:15PM and were really looking forward to it! Well Zumba got canceled along with all the other classes.

   We ended up staying till after 6, and when we walked out, we had not realized that the parking lot was Full of snow! I mean our feet were completely covered and our main concern was how in the Fuck we were even going to get that damn car out of there. Well my Trusty Honda Pulled out with no hesitations.

  Once we made the light to turn Left onto 29 it was back to back STOPPED traffic! So as soon as the light turned green I said fuck it crossed over 4 lanes to the right and headed towards 66 (because of course the highway had to be less packed because the plow fuckers would have been ready and cleaning the god damn roads!) Well boy were we WRONG! We get stuck as soon as we exit for an hour! We barely moved a foot!

   My urge to pee grew Stronger and stronger to where I was bitching at my cousins to stop moving which only made them laugh! I mean I had downed like 4 bottles of water!

   After an hour and a half of anxiously awaiting to even fucking move "WE" came up with a plan! "Ok, when I say go L you will get out the car and pretend to clean the front windshield, J you open your back door and stand there in front of me and I will open mine and pull my pants down sit on the edge of my car and Pee". Yes, we could have pulled over but the shoulders were packed with snow and i was afraid to get stuck. SO the plan was executed and Went Great. Besides the fact that We had the emergency lights on and some guys were walking over to help us and my cousin J is saying "D. Hurry up some ones coming!" But I didnt care! I was on an endless Pissing Journey! I felt great after that!

   We pushed so many cars on the highway! we would pull up along side the dumb fuckers get out put our emergency lights push the fuckers taht were causing traffic  and get them on their merry fucking way. It took us over 4 Hours to get home from a gym that is less than 4 miles from my house! We  got on the highway at 6:36 PM and got home a little after 11PM! Boy were we annoyed!

   FUCK this Snow, and this damn county who has had snow plow trucks sand trucks ready for weeks and then the one day we really need it the fuckers are jacking off or doing god knows what!! I will Happily say My car ( love you baby) did not get stuck once Thank god! We swerved a bit on the highway, But drove through the untouched unplowed neighborhood road like a hot knife on butter! It was Great I was so afraid that wed get fucking stuck! Lets see how my baby does In a few when I head out to buy food diapers and then make my way to the gym with the cousins WHom had to sleep here since We were afraid to get stuck in the snow in their hood!


  1. Sorry to hear about your bad bay. Anyway I am your newest follower from the blog hop. I hope you will check out my blog and follow me back.

    Hip Chick's Guide to PMS, Pregnancy, and Babies

  2. You are so freaking funny! I say: Always keep a paper cup from a fast food place in your car and when you have an emergency you can go in the cup! LOL! Heck I dont know but that's better than a ticket for peeing on the road! You goof!

    I also love this new design! So gorgeous! Miss you! *hugs*